Manic Monday….not really
So work wasn’t too bad Friday and Saturday. I didn’t have one discharge or admission and most of my patients were med-surg walkie talkies. Makes for two easy but boring days. I actually made it out of there by 7:30 both days. Amazing! I did have one DNR that was going to be made hospice and it I realized that I so could do hospice nursing. I have three areas I am interested in and just have to figure out what I really want and how to get into those areas. The thing is they are so different from each other! I just need to keep working on my skills and learn as much as I can. My goal is to give myself another 6 months on this floor and then I want to be off of it. Hopefully, I can transfer but if I can’t I will find another hospital because I made my intentions clear when they interviewed me. I made if very clear that they were just a stepping stone and that I wanted CVICU.
So yesterday I was a complete bum. I was on the computer most of the day, napped and then went out to my favorite Thai place with DH. I’m going to try and be productive today!
On my to-do list:
- Clean apartment
- work on my November to-do list
- work on to-do list for this week
- make my menu and shopping list
- make a couple of layouts
Those are my main things. I have a couple of small projects I might be able to get too. I bought a nice little feng-shui book the other day. I’m going to start decluttering this place. I have lost my ipod shuffle and one memory card. I know they are in this apartment somewhere!!!!!!!! So frustrating!!!!!!!! I was up to 1 last night playing with my camera. I have had it forever but just took out the manual last night. I didn’t realize that it did so many cool things. Like I didn’t’ know I could change the colors on pictures that I already took or that I could shoot in black and white. So very cool!
love-hate relationship
That’s what I have with my job. I really love being a nurse. I really hate being a nurse! I have moments where I know I make a difference and I love it. Especially when I get to take the time to truly connect with my patients. Even if they are confused. I took care of a lady for three days and she was not AAOX3 most of the time. When she left I told her my good-byes and she said she loved me. Considering she tried to beat other nurses up it made me feel good. But most of the time I feel like I’m giving really crappy care. I feel like I’m treading and it scares the hell out of me.
I went into this job knowing it was going to be hard but I hope that it does get better. I was so busy yesterday. It started off slow and I was able to get my discharged patients charts done. But then I got slammed. And I was stuck charting till 9pm. Then the night manager told me that I have to clock out if I’m there past 7:30 to chart. WTF???? Luckily I was done by then. Maybe if I had help I wouldn’t have been there so late. I really see so much wrong in the nursing profession. We need a change. I need to do something to make a difference not only for my patients but for nurses as well. Let’s face it, we get treated like crap. Does anyone really look out for us? No. I guess I need to start going to my FNA meetings.
What sucks is most of the time I feel like a complete idiot. Seriously. Another nurse pulled me aside yesterday and said something that I totally needed to hear. Allah, gives us messages exactly when we need them. Gotta love it
Plans changed and I didn’t go to Orlando with DH. He said since I came home so late to stay and rest and we would go out tonight. I so love him……..
10 Things.
1. I’m not feeling the Ramadan spirit this year and it’s making me really sad. I don’t know if it’s because I’m stressed or what but it just doesn’t feel like Ramadan to me. I’m making an effort to make it to the masjid tonight. I’m going to try and make it at least two nights a week, insha’allah.
2. Me and DH have been fighting way too much lately. I think we aren’t seeing each other enough. I think he forgets he’s not single sometimes and it irritates me to no end and then we fight. And he calls me cranky but if he would just realize that he’s being an a*S I wouldn’t be a grump.
3. I hate Telemetry. End of story. I mean I HATE it. I like the hospital and I have great support and I love that I’m learning so much but seriously, I hate it. I want to be in ICU so bad now.
4. We’ve got Coldplay tickets!!! We are going with another couple in November. So excited!!!!!!! I was suppose to see Coldplay back in 2005 and had tickets but I had a pharm exam the day after so I had to give up my ticket. I was heartbroken.
5. I’m praying that Ike will not be as bad as they say. All I can say is crap. I have about 7 gallons of water, tons of cat food, lots of tuna and of course tons of junk. I’m on the B team so I don’t have to be at the hospital during the hurricane this time. I need to pack up my photos and scrapbooks and take them over to MIL.
6. My cat is getting huge. He just turned one in June and he weighs 18 pounds. I hope that some of it fur. His fur is also getting thicker and longer which means I have to brush him more often and he of course hates the brush.
7. I’m a little ticked off that I haven’t heard from my brother or sister in months. I haven’t heard from lots of people in months.
8. Just got a call. I guess we are invited to an iftar tonight. Looks, like I might not be making it to the masjid tonight. Ugh.
9. All my plants on my patio died. I finally had some peppers on my pepper plant and they all freaking died on me. Not sure what happened but everything’s dead. As soon as the storm passes I need to replant my herbs and get some new plants.
10. I’m missing my nephews and nieces a lot. I miss having the kids around. Also, I still have baby fever. Not good because we aren’t ready for a baby but I have it.
Why I’m hating my job
Well, I still like my job but it is so freaking hard. A lot harder than the last place I worked. I’m not sure how long I’m going to last on this floor. It’s crazy. CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My preceptor is great but she keeps telling me I need to speed up. Well, freaking duh. I’m on my own on Sunday and Thursday is my last day on orientation and I’m terrified. It wouldn’t be so bad but they keep giving me two admissions at the same freaking time. I mean, come on. I knew that we would be getting a lot of admissions but it sucks because we don’t have an admission nurse right now and I’m still unfamiliar with everything and then they give me two freaking admissions at 5. And then they wonder why I’m not getting out of work till 8:30 or 9:00. I’m going to tough it out a year and then I’m gone. To top it off the aides were complaining that we weren’t helping them enough and all we do is stand around. WTHever. And don’t even get me started on the doctors. Some of them are just arrogant asses who don’t give a damn about their patients. Ok, so now I’m done venting. .
I have two days off till I work again so I’m going to try to enjoy myself. I made my schedule yesterday and actually made a really nice schedule. I gave myself a stretch of 5 days off in the middle of the month. I figure that I might do that once a month just to give myself a break. I hope she doesn’t make any changes to it because it’s a nice schedule. I think I only but myself on two Mondays. I hate Mondays!!!!!!!!!:)
Blah,Blah,Blah….
- I’m loving my new job but at the same time it is so freaking me out. I feel like the worst nurse ever. EVER!
- I had the neediest, crankiest patients all week.
- My feet are killing me. I mean P-A-I-N. It hurts to walk. I’m going tomorrow to get some new shoes. My feet start hurting so bad by 4pm. It feels weird writing that now, which is just weird.
- I picked up my first paycheck! Direct Deposit doesn’t start until the next paycheck. Very nice that my bank is right next to my hospital.
- I picked up a couple of uniforms. So, so happy that I don’t have to wear navy. It was a store that I’ve never been in and they really didn’t have a lot in my size:(
- I pick up my wedding dress tomorrow!
- I finally found some invitations. I also found programs. 40 invitations and response cards for $34. Not bad! DH cousin works at a printing place so I will have him print them for me. I also found some nice save the date cards that you can put a pic in.
- It was freaking hot today and I think I lost 5pounds in sweat.
- I got to do an IV yesterday but the vein blew on me. :/ At least I tried.
- I have the same netflix movies for two months. I think it’s time to get of my lazy bum and return them.
- My cat broke my one and only living room lamp. And he managed to break my pot of blue bonnets and injured my poor gnome that was sitting on the pot. I thought cats were suppose to lower one’s blood pressure not increase it.
- I got to see a picc line insertion. So freaking cool.
- When I tell people where I worked before, I keep hearing nothing but bad things. The only ones who say anything good are people who worked in critical care
- I am so sick of EHarmony commercials. Seriously. If I see anyone of the people from those commercials, I’m so slapping them. They are so fake!
Ramblings…
I spent most of my day in bed yesterday. I awoke at my normal time of 5am decided to sleep for another hour and that hour turned into a nap till 12:15.:/ I spent the rest of the day over at MIL eating burgers, playing with the baby and playing with Sparklers. It was a fun, low key 4th of July. It also rained like crazy so we didn’t see any fireworks. But stepping out last night to come home felt like I was in some war zone with all the booms and smoke. Craziness.
I’m spending the day cleaning my apartment. It’s amazing how messy it can get when I’m hardly here. I have plans to do some studying and get some scrapping done while I’m off. I’m spending 4 hours with the IV nurse Tues. Super excited about that. I love the training here. I had three patients Thursday and next week she will be giving me a full load. Really nervous but I need it because I will be going on my own in two weeks. But they said they can give me more time if needed but I’m hoping that I don’t.
I might be postponing our reception. I had to have a long talk with DH yesterday. He sometimes has his head in the clouds about things and money can be one of them. He totally gets it from his mom. So I pretty sure that I will lose my deposit for the reception place but it’s either that or have no wedding reception at all. I know it shouldn’t matter but I can’t help it, I want my reception. I really didn’t want a nikkha at his mom’s house and this was suppose to be a compromise and I’m not giving it up. If I knew it would have been this much of a pain I would have never had the nikkha. We were married Islamically but not legally and no one seems to get the importance of us being legally married. So frustrating…..
Ramblings…
1. Shakespeare has another anal gland problem. I noticed last night made appointment and tried to keep him from licking. But I awoke to it being open this morning. Great, that’s an easy $400 spent.
2. Naples was a blast. Enjoy being with my girls!!! I can’t wait to my nieces are here for the summer. We are going to have fun!
3. Took my mom to Key West. Had a blast as usual.
4. It’s hotter than hell here. I mean H-O-T. Burning your fingers as you try to drive your car because it’s like 120 degrees inside there when you first get in and sweating as soon as you are outside hot. Craziness.
5. Spent a wonderful Sunday with MIL. Had brunch on the water with MIL and other family members then a couple of us went to Trini day. It was hot but the music was good. Boy, Trinis really love Tassa. They were playing some soca and there was a few dancing but once tassa started everyone came around. Pretty amusing to me.
6. I have found a job I really want and I’m just waiting please make dua for me!!!
7. Finally bought my wedding dress!!!! And I must say it is one gorgeous dress.
8. I’m almost done organizing my closet! Woo-hoo!! One thing of my list!
9. I got creative and actually scrapped last night! I plan on doing lots today. I also ordered my first kit ever. I hope I like.
10. MIL has offered to pay for a steel pan or tassa for the rehearsal dinner!!:) I don’t want it at the actually wedding because we are having a dj and it wouldn’t make sense. But we plan on having lots of people at the dinner because I’m inviting all my out of town guest.
Well, must run to take my poor kitty to the vet.:(
Happy Once Again…
I’m feeling much better these days. I guess I have relieved some stress by quitting. Also am feeling less worn out and moody. I got my lab results back last week and my thyroid levels were off. So she upped my dose and I’m feeling back to my old self again..
I was up late making a photo book of my friends wedding last night. It was last weekend and it was such a beautiful wedding. It was small and very intimate. She made a beautiful bride!! I’ll post a couple of pics later. Of course none of people!!:) But everything turned out really nice. Except how they set up the cake. I don’t know what the hotel was thinking but they put in the corner and no one could see the cake cutting!
I need to work on what kind of flowers I would like this week and find a couple of bridesmaids dresses. I have 6 months to go!!!!!!!!!! I also need to make some appointments with florist.
I’m going to see Wicked tonight. Pretty excited about that. I haven’t been to a show in years. So I’m going to spend my day working on some stuff in the apartment, uploading photos and filling out more applications!
On the hunt….
Well, it’s back to the job search once again. I hate the place I work and decided to quit. I’m not sure if they realize it yet or not. I’m going to turn in my resignation letter tomorrow. I didn’t go in at all last week and I haven’t heard boo from them.
I’m really disappointed because I really wanted to work there. It’s a huge hospital, one of the biggest in the area. For a teaching hospital I have had the worst training. I really should have spoken up sooner but I was hoping that things would change. HA!
All I keep hearing is how I’m suppose to be on my own soon but no one has given me a time frame, any evaluation of any sort and when I ask questions it’s the run around game. It doesn’t help that my preceptor was out for three weeks and takes several vacation days and I’m suppose to just come in and find someone to work with. Um, yeah, ok. So I’m out. I’m done. I’m finished. I really love their CVICU and thought that I would just stay on this floor for a year but I can’t even last three months there. I’ve got to get out now while I’m still in love with nursing or I’m afraid that I will be jaded forever.
I put in one application in yesterday and I have three more hospitals to submit my applications to. I’m not making the same mistake twice. I’m interviewing with everyone before I accept a job offer. Wish me luck!
