Disappointment instead of hope…..
Well, one would think that I would be happy waking up to find that there is a democrat in the white house but I’m not. I guess I’m just worried about what kind of state this country is in and I’m not sure that it’s going to get any better. Of course Obama is all about hope and change but like I said I just don’t believe it. Maybe I’m jaded, who knows but I just don’t see it. I have a pit in the bottom of my stomach. The same feeling I got when I heard that Bush had won the presidency. Not good my friends. I thought I would be happy but hey, I go with my gut.
So my friend and husband got into text wars last night. He had to drop it because it was getting really heated. DH husband HATES Obama. He was a Ron Paul guy and he really just dislikes Obama. Our friend basically said he should support Obama because he is colored. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????????? I guess I should support McCain because I’m white? I’m sorry but the race thing is old with me. Seriously. It’s freaking 2008 and time for people to fucking get over it. OVER IT! This is why I hate talking politics and religion.
What disappoints me the most is just now people are coming out to vote. I’ve been voting since I turned 18 and I have never seen numbers like this in my life of people voting. All I have to say is if people would have gotten out and actually voted before we wouldn’t be in this mess. People said that the election was rigged during the last two elections but I really don’t believe that anymore. Know why? BECAUSE PEOPLE DIDN”T GET OUT AND VOTE. How can we say an election was rigged when the majority of people didn’t’ vote? Do you know how long it took last presidential election for me to vote? 10 minutes. People claimed that they wanted a change but did they do anything? No, as a country we have to wait until things are crap to make things happen.
So enough about that. I’m going to finish up rescrapping my 1997 album. I have Christmas and New Year’s and I’m done. I’m loving the We r Memory, D ring albums. My other albums are falling apart so I decided to redo them. It also gives me a chance to get rid of pictures of exes. Bonus!:) I’m almost done with Season Two of Grey’s Anatomy. I am really hooked on this show. I’m a tad bit behind on my TV shows as you can tell!!! I need to get the fourth season because I’m getting ready to start season three.
Manic Monday….not really
So work wasn’t too bad Friday and Saturday. I didn’t have one discharge or admission and most of my patients were med-surg walkie talkies. Makes for two easy but boring days. I actually made it out of there by 7:30 both days. Amazing! I did have one DNR that was going to be made hospice and it I realized that I so could do hospice nursing. I have three areas I am interested in and just have to figure out what I really want and how to get into those areas. The thing is they are so different from each other! I just need to keep working on my skills and learn as much as I can. My goal is to give myself another 6 months on this floor and then I want to be off of it. Hopefully, I can transfer but if I can’t I will find another hospital because I made my intentions clear when they interviewed me. I made if very clear that they were just a stepping stone and that I wanted CVICU.
So yesterday I was a complete bum. I was on the computer most of the day, napped and then went out to my favorite Thai place with DH. I’m going to try and be productive today!
On my to-do list:
- Clean apartment
- work on my November to-do list
- work on to-do list for this week
- make my menu and shopping list
- make a couple of layouts
Those are my main things. I have a couple of small projects I might be able to get too. I bought a nice little feng-shui book the other day. I’m going to start decluttering this place. I have lost my ipod shuffle and one memory card. I know they are in this apartment somewhere!!!!!!!! So frustrating!!!!!!!! I was up to 1 last night playing with my camera. I have had it forever but just took out the manual last night. I didn’t realize that it did so many cool things. Like I didn’t’ know I could change the colors on pictures that I already took or that I could shoot in black and white. So very cool!
Tired
Work wasn’t so bad yesterday but I also didn’t have one discharge so that just made life easy. I work Friday and Saturday and those are always crazy busy days. Of course I had two patients threaten to hit me and one aide who yelled at me. The private aide ended up apologizing but I just let it roll off at that point. I just give people my look and leave the room. So sorry but I’m just too busy for your bullshit or drama. Especially when I’m trying to help you! The guy with dementia I can understand. But if your not crazy and threatening to hit me well you will get no help from me. I’ll do what I have to do for you but that’s it. Don’t think you are going to take out your crap on me.
I think I’m going stop by Barnes and Nobel today. I really need another book like I need a hole in my head. But I think I’m going to pick up a feng shui book. I also want to pick up Pray, Eat, love. A girl at work was talking about how good it was. On my to-do list:
- Bookstore
- Work on menu for next week so I can actually cook and stop eating junk
- Start cleaning out my computer closet. I have way too much junk in there and in my computer room in general.
- work on some layouts. I have to fill those new scrapbooks I got!:)
- Clean out some of this paper clutter I got going on
- Do some major laundry
I have to say that I did have a wonderful birthday. I got lots of well wishes and that was really nice. It’s nice to know that your friends care even when your family doesn’t.:) Of course I didn’t send one card or phone call either. A. I never have an address for them except their dad’s and then they never even say if they got the damn card and B. like I said before I’m not calling anymore. I know they are “busy” as they say but hell, everyone is busy. DH told me that he will be totally shocked if they even show up at the wedding. I have to say that at this point I will be too…….
On another note, my kitty has a bald spot:( He has some really long fur and it got matted and I tried to get it out but it was just easier to cut it out. I felt so bad!!!!!!!!!!!! I got a number to a mobile groomer in the area from a co-worker. I might have to give him a try because poor kitty can’t be walking around with bald spots! He’s too cute for that! I brush him almost every other day but I guess that’s just not enough.
10 Things.
1. I’m not feeling the Ramadan spirit this year and it’s making me really sad. I don’t know if it’s because I’m stressed or what but it just doesn’t feel like Ramadan to me. I’m making an effort to make it to the masjid tonight. I’m going to try and make it at least two nights a week, insha’allah.
2. Me and DH have been fighting way too much lately. I think we aren’t seeing each other enough. I think he forgets he’s not single sometimes and it irritates me to no end and then we fight. And he calls me cranky but if he would just realize that he’s being an a*S I wouldn’t be a grump.
3. I hate Telemetry. End of story. I mean I HATE it. I like the hospital and I have great support and I love that I’m learning so much but seriously, I hate it. I want to be in ICU so bad now.
4. We’ve got Coldplay tickets!!! We are going with another couple in November. So excited!!!!!!! I was suppose to see Coldplay back in 2005 and had tickets but I had a pharm exam the day after so I had to give up my ticket. I was heartbroken.
5. I’m praying that Ike will not be as bad as they say. All I can say is crap. I have about 7 gallons of water, tons of cat food, lots of tuna and of course tons of junk. I’m on the B team so I don’t have to be at the hospital during the hurricane this time. I need to pack up my photos and scrapbooks and take them over to MIL.
6. My cat is getting huge. He just turned one in June and he weighs 18 pounds. I hope that some of it fur. His fur is also getting thicker and longer which means I have to brush him more often and he of course hates the brush.
7. I’m a little ticked off that I haven’t heard from my brother or sister in months. I haven’t heard from lots of people in months.
8. Just got a call. I guess we are invited to an iftar tonight. Looks, like I might not be making it to the masjid tonight. Ugh.
9. All my plants on my patio died. I finally had some peppers on my pepper plant and they all freaking died on me. Not sure what happened but everything’s dead. As soon as the storm passes I need to replant my herbs and get some new plants.
10. I’m missing my nephews and nieces a lot. I miss having the kids around. Also, I still have baby fever. Not good because we aren’t ready for a baby but I have it.
Tuesday Ramblings
- I’m going to the hairdresser today. Something I haven’t done since Feb.!!!!!!!!!! I really can’t afford it right now but my hair is looking like crap. I always feel better when I have my hair done.
- 17 days till Trinidad!!!
- I was a very lazy bum yesterday. So today I will have to clean. BLAH. I also have laundry to do which I don’t want to do.:(
- My plan of spending the day scrapbooking was ruined. So maybe if I have some free time today I can get some pages done.
- My mom is stuck in Limbo with her job. She had some major drama and now she isn’t sure if she’s going to California or Florida. And she needs to be out of her apartment this morning!! I’m really not liking her travel company right now. They have really treated her like crap for the last year. She has been with them for 4 years and they were wonderful but now, not so good. Talked to a traveler in orientation that had the same recruiter as my mom and didn’t have nice things to say about her. Needless to say she is with another company and much happier.
- Having problems picking a wedding date. I’m about to say screw it and call the whole thing off.
- I have lots of people I need to call or at least email. Kinda been ignoring people for the last couple of weeks. I need to sit down today and make a list of things that I need to do. One of them is return phone calls!!!
- I’ve been in a crappy mood lately and I don’t know why. I need to get my thyroid levels rechecked but don’t have the insurance right now. I might have to go to a walk in to get a refill and then wait it out. BLAH! I wished I still had my thyroid. It really is such a pain in the ass not having it. I know it could be worse but it sucks.
- I work tomorrow and Thursday and then I’m off Fri, Sat, and Sun.! Woo-hoo three day weekend! I’m thinking of asking for just another week with my preceptor. Just because they are counting my first week as my four weeks but I really think I need one more week on the floor. I’m sure they will let me. They said to let them know if I thought I needed another week, I’m going to talk to them tomorrow.
Blah,Blah,Blah….
- I’m loving my new job but at the same time it is so freaking me out. I feel like the worst nurse ever. EVER!
- I had the neediest, crankiest patients all week.
- My feet are killing me. I mean P-A-I-N. It hurts to walk. I’m going tomorrow to get some new shoes. My feet start hurting so bad by 4pm. It feels weird writing that now, which is just weird.
- I picked up my first paycheck! Direct Deposit doesn’t start until the next paycheck. Very nice that my bank is right next to my hospital.
- I picked up a couple of uniforms. So, so happy that I don’t have to wear navy. It was a store that I’ve never been in and they really didn’t have a lot in my size:(
- I pick up my wedding dress tomorrow!
- I finally found some invitations. I also found programs. 40 invitations and response cards for $34. Not bad! DH cousin works at a printing place so I will have him print them for me. I also found some nice save the date cards that you can put a pic in.
- It was freaking hot today and I think I lost 5pounds in sweat.
- I got to do an IV yesterday but the vein blew on me. :/ At least I tried.
- I have the same netflix movies for two months. I think it’s time to get of my lazy bum and return them.
- My cat broke my one and only living room lamp. And he managed to break my pot of blue bonnets and injured my poor gnome that was sitting on the pot. I thought cats were suppose to lower one’s blood pressure not increase it.
- I got to see a picc line insertion. So freaking cool.
- When I tell people where I worked before, I keep hearing nothing but bad things. The only ones who say anything good are people who worked in critical care
- I am so sick of EHarmony commercials. Seriously. If I see anyone of the people from those commercials, I’m so slapping them. They are so fake!
Ramblings…
I spent most of my day in bed yesterday. I awoke at my normal time of 5am decided to sleep for another hour and that hour turned into a nap till 12:15.:/ I spent the rest of the day over at MIL eating burgers, playing with the baby and playing with Sparklers. It was a fun, low key 4th of July. It also rained like crazy so we didn’t see any fireworks. But stepping out last night to come home felt like I was in some war zone with all the booms and smoke. Craziness.
I’m spending the day cleaning my apartment. It’s amazing how messy it can get when I’m hardly here. I have plans to do some studying and get some scrapping done while I’m off. I’m spending 4 hours with the IV nurse Tues. Super excited about that. I love the training here. I had three patients Thursday and next week she will be giving me a full load. Really nervous but I need it because I will be going on my own in two weeks. But they said they can give me more time if needed but I’m hoping that I don’t.
I might be postponing our reception. I had to have a long talk with DH yesterday. He sometimes has his head in the clouds about things and money can be one of them. He totally gets it from his mom. So I pretty sure that I will lose my deposit for the reception place but it’s either that or have no wedding reception at all. I know it shouldn’t matter but I can’t help it, I want my reception. I really didn’t want a nikkha at his mom’s house and this was suppose to be a compromise and I’m not giving it up. If I knew it would have been this much of a pain I would have never had the nikkha. We were married Islamically but not legally and no one seems to get the importance of us being legally married. So frustrating…..
One of those mornings…
where I would have just would have preferred to stay in bed with the covers over my head cursing the world. It’s only 10am and it’s been one of those mornings. I am in such foul mood and I don’t know why. GRRRRR.
I went to the grocery store and the bag boy just irritated the hell out of me. I bring my own bags and I try to tell them not to put everything heavy into one bag. They want to put the soy milk, regular milk and oj all in one bag. So I politely tell him to separate them. Well, apparently that means only one item in a bag:/ I almost lost it seriously. I don’t want a plastic bag, that’s why I bring my own!
Another thing I have to rant about is how certain Muslims I know what to complain about how our religion is stereotyped but then they go and do their own stereotyping. Someone said something about the Catholic Church and I had to correct them and they tried to tell me I was wrong. Oh, excuse me I guess being a Catholic for thirty years means nothing. I did have a religion before I converted. Which brings me to another rant. I hate it when people try to tell me about the Bible like I’ve never heard of it before. Because apparently as a former Catholic I never had access to one.
Sorry for all the rants. Like I said one of those days. It doesn’t help that I stepped on the scale and it read 120 this morning. I have never been over 115. Great.
I guess on a good note I have half of my to do list done…..
I’m insane and this is a boring, boring post
Because I’m sitting here drinking my coffee and I have come up with a super list and I know it’s just not possible to get everything on my list done!!! But I’m going to try and if I get the first 5 things done I guess I can call it a victory.:)
There are a couple of things I want to post about so hopefully I can get to them. They are floating around in my head driving me crazy and that’s never good. The subjects in no particular order, domestic violence, the presidential candidates and how crappy the world is at this point. Remember I’m not a writer so don’t expect much. To tell you the truth writers and artsy fartsy type people kind of make me nervous. Why I don’t know. I’m just weird that way.
So on my crazy self is going to try and do these things
- Paperwork: Attack the ever growing pile of mail that is trying to overtake my desk, start a budget because I have no idea where the hell my money is going, balance my checkbook, make menu for this week, make shopping and errand list.
- Spend at least 15 min. working on getting my bedroom organized. Not much more to do in there before it’s done.
- Make it to the gym.
- Gather info for passport, make sure everything is correct so I can drop it off tomorrow
- Take some time out to read
- Start on my list of things I need to buy to be prepared for hurricane season. But two items on list for shopping tomorrow
- Email photos of the two dressed I like for the bridesmaid dresses to bridesmaids. See if I can find the invitations I like cheaper somewhere else.
- Upload pictures from Memorial Day Barbecue, Sunday’s party and MIL’s bday party
- Try to scrap a couple of pages.
- Do three load of jeans, towels and sheets.
- Catch up on my ironing, which I hate!
- And the biggie, pick up DH’s car from the body shop. It’s finally done!! No more rental car!!!
$343
That’s how much my little Shakes cost me today. He is walking around with a cone on his not to happy with me. I went ahead and got his teeth cleaned since he was out. I couldn’t afford the x rays, those will have to wait. A different vet did the surgery this time. Last time they only had one stitch and some gauze on it. Let’s just say that didn’t go so well. I had little spots of blood to clean up everywhere. This time he is stitched fully! Masha’Allah! I gave him some sardines as a treat. I feel bad because he HATES the vet. My peaceful, loving cat hisses and growls at the poor vet but not the female techs:) Oh, no my kitty is a ladies man!
So we finally have rain!!! It’s raining as I type this!!! Which means that I will be ultra lazy for the rest of the evening because that’s how thunderstorms make me. I will sent on my couch and finish watching American Gangster. I just finished Becoming Jane and it wasn’t bad. I don’t believe much of the story line but it is so very Jane Austen. Which I just love! My favorite book is Pride and Prejudice and I love the A&E version. I refuse to watch the new one that came out because I can’t bear to see Keira Knightley play Elizabeth. And to watch someone else beside Colin Firth play Mr. Darcy is just crazy!
So I am off to finish my movie with a nice bowl of ice cream and them maybe scrap a couple of pages!! Sounds like a good start to my weekend:)
