The Ramblings of a Strange Little Pixie

I need to get some stuff done for Eid today. I’m glad that I got my outfit. I’m so glad that I went last week to get it. I would be hating life right now and would be wearing something out of my closet. I’m still sick. I went in Sunday feeling miserable and they were like, why did you come in? We had a low census and I was suppose to be the first to go but guess what? They sent someone else home which pissed me off. I woke up Monday morning feeling worse than I did Saturday so I just called in. I really hate doing it but do they want me to come and make everyone sick? That’s how I got sick in the first place.

So I have to clean my kitchen and computer room and do a load of towels and my apartment will be cleaned. My kitchen is scary. I don’t’ know how the kitchen can get so messy when I’m sick.

So I’m making deviled eggs and rice krispie treats for tomorrow. I know, but they are always a big hit. I always make deviled eggs because it just what my nana made every holiday. So I need to stop by the dollar store and pick up some gift bags, get some halal marshmallows, pick up some bangles for me, cap for DH. I am also picking up some candles and candy for gifts in case we are invited to anyone’s home. I was caught off guard last year because I didn’t know we were invited to like three homes and I had to go empty handed. VERY EMBARASSING! I also need to pick up some shoes for my outfit. I also want to pick up DH an IPOD shuffle for the gym. He has a regular IPOD but I think it would be nice if he had one for when he works out.

I went through some HUGE piles of mail last night. I got rid of so much junk mail and crap that my shredder shut off. I thought I broke it but it’s working today. Woo-hoo! So I still have a big pile to actually go through and file but it’s so much more doable now. I also hope I can get a couple of layouts in.

If I’m not on the computer tomorrow, I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed EID!!!!

I feel like a dump truck ran over me. Seriously. I was suppose to work today but woke up a 2am dying and knew I wasn’t going to be able to make it into work. I hate calling in but I really think it was best this time. I would have never made it through the day and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want me getting the other nurses and patients sick. So I called the nursing office at 2:30 and passed out till 10:45. I HATE being sick!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully I can survive tomorrow and Monday…………..

So work as gotten to me. I got into nursing to make a difference, to help people and just do something good in the world. Well, if I hear one more negative thing at work I will scream. Thank goodness for the few patients that actually like me. I’m depressed. Simple as that. I feel like this job as much as I try is breaking my spirit. I feel like I can do nothing right to please people. I have doctors yelling at me (even though I explained that I couldn’t do your written order because it would kill the patient), Respiratory talking bad about us, patients demanding things like they are at the Hilton, family members who demand everything and want to manage their loved one’s care and night nurses who can’t understand why us day nurses can’t do everything or are late doing things. GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t get me started on the PCT’s that don’t do anything…

So I spent yesterday cleaning and trying to make myself feel better but seriously I felt like crap yesterday. I really think I’m going back to my original plan. When I first wanted to be a nurse, I really wanted L/D and maybe if the timing was right to go back and become a Nurse Practitioner and work in a clinic or a ob/gyn office. I think I need to go back to Plan A. I really love CVICU but I can’t hang out in tele. I can’t decide what to do. I am truly lost because right now I am hating my job. Please tell me it gets better. I love nursing and I really don’t want to hate my job.

I spent a couple of hours with DH today. He was suppose to have training but it was cancelled. I went by to drop off some food so he could break his fast tonight and then picked him up so he could return some shoes. Then I did some errands. I got some stuff at Target and scored at Ann Taylors. I had been eyeing a bag for two weeks and I had a coupon for $25 off if I spent $50. So, I decided to buy the bag and found a cute top for $15 and some cute sandals for $9.99. Turned out the bag which was $49 was on sale for $29. My total was like $33! Everything ended up being cheaper than the tag. Awesome.

Then I went to the halal meat shop and stocked up. This place actually has really good meat. I also scored two bollywood films for $5. They aren’t the cheap quality ones either!:) I then headed to three stores before I found my eid outfit. It’s a really pretty teal shalwar. I love it. I also picked up a really cute pink skirt. So, a little retail therapy really works because I am a tad bit happier.:) I still need to go to Publix but I’m going to go early tomorrow morning. I also need to get my car washed, which I hate doing.

So I talked to my sis the other day and she wants to move out here. I’m not sure how serious she is but I think the change would do her some good. Our lease is up at the same time so she and my nephew might be moving in. But there are no set plans so I’m not getting excited just yet. I would love for her to be down here. It would be so awesome to have my family near me! Know what else is cool? She has a co-worker that is a convert that has been explaining Islam to her and invited her to the masjid. I’m glad she is being open minded about. I told her she should go because it’s a good cultural experience.

I received my shutterfly package of 130 photos yesterday! So you’ll know what I’ll be doing tonight!!!!:)

because I feel like crap. I’m sick. I usually don’t get colds but I have one. BLAH! My body aches, my chest is killing me and my throat feels like it was replaced with sandpaper last night. I’ve been taking it easy. I woke up at 8am then went back to bed till 11am.

Work wasn’t too bad yesterday. Here’s the breakdown:

• Lady who wouldn’t speak English too me but would everyone else. WTH?
• Confused lady who called every 5 min. Then her husband showed up to call every 5 min. I was ready to throw my phone out.
• Discharged one easy guy but had a fit when doctor ordered 2liters of IV fluids after telling him he could go home. I called the doctor and got the fluids d/c because the guy was pissed! I don’t know why he did that one. I guess he forgot by time he left the room?????
• Had another demanding one who couldn’t hear and kept calling me Marsha. Not even close to my name.
• Had one lady who only spoke French.
• Then I had my biggie who came from a cath and ended up in CVICU. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. He came in at 1630 and I had to deal with the drama starting at 1720. Thank goodness I had all my charting up to date by that point. I really hope he’s ok.:/ Everything goes down hill at 5pm….
• I got my 90 day review and it was good and now I’m permanent and off probation! Woo-Hoo, I think:)
• Has much as I whine about hating my job I really do like it. I love being a nurse even though I really think my patients are out to get me…..

So, I was really tired last night and I went out on the balcony to fetch the boys and guess what? I locked poor Shakespeare out there all night. It’s official. I’m the world’s worst cat momma. I thought it was strange that I only woke up to one cat this morning. There is was sitting in the corner of the patio, waiting. He yelled at me in his kitty language for about an hour. I felt so bad!!!!

So I went to Whole foods and splurged to make myself feel better. I bought Vindaloo paste, Sandalwood oil, incense, two candles, strawberry soap, mac and cheese, plantains and veggie soup. All things to make me feel better!:)  I spent an hour making a photo book for my mom of our road trip last year. I hope she likes it! They gave me a free one at Shutterfly. Of course I ended up adding 10 extra pages and I have to pay for shipping but still it’s a good deal, I think. I hope it turns out nice!

That’s how I feel right now. Just blah…. I got somethings done today but not much. I was going to cook tonight but I’m having mashed potatoes and fish sticks. I know, oh so healthy! I was going to go over to my MIL because she is having a small ladies iftar but I just don’t feel up to it. I’m tired and I have to work tomorrow. I think if she would have invited me sooner I might have but I really hate how her and baby are last minute people.:/

I went to Costco and Walgreens today. I was going to go to Publix but changed my mind. I went to Costco just to pick up some photos and realized that I forgot my wallet at home. That sucked so I had to come back. Then I went to pick up my prescription at Walgreens but my insurance doesn’t cover it unless I get a fax from the doctor. Whatever, that’s fine but I still want it! The lady was going to put it back and I’m like hello, I can still buy it you know.

So, I want to know where my Ramadan spirit is because it’s nowhere to be found here. I am feeling really low and I’m not liking it at all. I’ve felt this way for awhile and I guess I just need to ask for help. I HATE feeling this way. And why can’t I have a normal family? Ok, enough whining for one night. I need to get ready for tomorrow. Only one day and I’m off for another two. Now that’s something to be happy about…..

I had such a good day yesterday! We went out to dinner last night with a group of friends and it was so yummy!!! It’s a small halal Indian restaurant but the food is just awesome. I order take out at least once a month from them so you think they would remember the white girl who comes in with Indian husband but no. They always remember him but if I give them an “asalaam alaikum” they give me a hello or goodbye. And last night I was annoyed because I ordered the Chicken Vindaloo which, I order all the time, and they lady was like “it’s very spicy you know”. ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just gave a smile and said I know, we white people can handle spicy and ordered my chicken vindaloo. Baby, just laughs….

So I’m going to keep this productivity thing up, inshallah!! I was hoping to fast today but I guess I will resume tomorrow. I’m debating on fasting at work or not. I’m still undecided….

My list of goals for today….

• Mop and vacuum out the apartment
• Brush my furbabies
• Run to Publix,Costco and Walgreens
• Do some reading
• Get some paperwork done
• Make a doctor’s appointment
• Wash my uniforms and iron them
• Spend some time Scrappin’! I ordered some Prints from Costco. I had 50 free prints so I thought I would give them a try. I ordered 110 from Shutterfly (lots of duplicates for family). I got lucky because I didn’t have to pay for shipping. I’m going to still give Snapfish and kodak a try!
• Take a nap with my snuggle bug
• Make dinner

I just woke up from a wonderful nap. I was on the couch with my snugglebug Shakespeare and I got this huge feeling of wanting to be up north. I don’t know where it came from. I want to be there but that’s not my home anymore. There are certain things I miss and I guess I always will. I was going to go to Cali in October but there is too much going on. That disappoints me. I won’t get my autumn fix at all… No sweaters, changing leaves or the crisp cool air. Oh, why do I have to love the mountains and fall so much…….. But if I were away from here I would miss this too…..

On the list:

1. Chicken Caccitore, salad and pasta
2. Slow cooker Chili
3. Stove top Easy Chicken Bake with Salad
4. Garlic Ranch Chicken, Mashed potatoes and green beans

Dessert will be brownies! I’ve never made any of these before so I hope they are decent!

1. I’m aggravated with DH right now. It seems like I never see him and he’s not making an effort at all. I know we have different routines and schedules but once again I am put on the back burner and one day it’s going to be too late. I will burned to a crisp and I won’t be there. I don’t think he realizes this. I didn’t get married to be alone. I could do that by myself, thank you very much.
2. I spoke to my sis, she’s ok. No flooding in her apartment or her Jeep. She’s just out of power.:( I think I’m going to buy her a plan ticket to come out in January. She needs a mini-vacation. And I miss her…
3. I went over to my cousin’s to break fast. Of course all of us were in the girl’s club right now.
4. I got a lot done yesterday!!! I hope that I can get some more things accomplished! I had to stop by work and get my schedule in. I forgot it was due tomorrow. I was also able to make one layout! On my list today… Clean out my purse, Find some new recipes and make my menu for this week, Spend some more time working on my computer room, Work on my photos. I might be spending some time with my MIL today.

I have found a way to brush my little crazy one. Put lots of treats out and just start brushing! I had to put him on a diet last week. He isn’t liking it too much but he gained a lot of weight when I was in Trinidad. I think he ate  a  Yorkie or something when was boarded. Of course this means he is starving in the morning and I can’t possible sleep in!

for three glorious days!!!!!!!!!! I will be enjoying myself immensely! I actually got out on time yesterday but it was a freaking hard day. I’ve got to learn to let things roll of my back and not ask the person in charge for anything because apparently they don’t give a crap. I was suppose to get a brand new nursing student yesterday but told the instructor as much as I would love to have her that I’m just not ready for a student. She totally understood. I’m starting to do a little better at getting a routine down. It just sucks when the manager and charge try to get people out of there so fast and sometimes these people end up right back in a few weeks because we didn’t want to keep them that extra day. It’s all bullshit in the end and I realize that I’m never going to give the nursing care that I want because I’m too busy passing meds and getting my discharges out the door and getting my new admissions in. In reality most of the patients that we get are very high acuity and we should only have four but that’s never going to happen. I was told yesterday that I’m a perfectionist and that’s what half my problem is. I want to be in ICU so bad….

So I have a large to-do list but I’m going to try and tackle it anyways!!! One my list…

1. Call my sister and see if she is doing ok. I’ve been bad about calling people and called one of my girlfriends for a nice long chat last night. I’m still a little mad because it has been at least 4 months since I’ve spoken to my sis.
2. Spend some time tackling my computer room. I need to throw out tons of papers and organize!
3. Spend some time looking up stuff for work. Never stop learning in nursing,hahahaha:)
4. Spend some time working on organizing my photos. I have these really nice albums that my mom sent me and I’ve got Jan.-May in them. I have ordered 200 photos from Shutterfly. CRAZINESS!!! I’m trying to get them organized into folders by year, then month, then event. Then I’m uploading them onto Shutterfly to send to people and order them. I’m also going to try out Costco, Kodak and Snapfish to see who has the best quality.
5. pay some bills, YUCK!
6. Try to brush big boy with out having any permanent damage
7. Wash two loads of laundry
8. Get two layouts done today
9. Check out digital scrapbooking.

I’m hoping that I can resume my fast either tomorrow or Monday!!