The Ramblings of a Strange Little Pixie

The sun in finally out again!!! I feel motivated once again. I can’t help it. The weather affects my mood. That’s why I hated living up north. If the sun wasn’t out I was depressed.

I actually worked out yesterday and it didn’t kill me! I haven’t worked out in about a month. I’m hating my body right now. So I’m going to try and get a workout in. I think I might try to do some small workouts till Ramadan is over. It has just flown by! I’m going to try and make up my miss fast as soon as possible. I have to wait until my trip is over but as soon as I get back home I’m going to try to make it up by fasting two days a week, insha’Allah. I know how I like to procrastinate and with my luck it won’t get done in time for next Ramadan.

So not much planned today. I’m going to eat breakfast and shower and then tackle my to-do list!

I wish I could get out of this funk I’m in. I feel so icky. So I finally get a bill from the hospital. Rat bastards. It’s not to bad it’s around 3,000. Which considering I was only in the ER for 5 hrs. it’s crap. Considering that I wasn’t able to get a female doctor or gyn is crap. Why the hell would you staff an ER with a male gyn???? Really, cause I just love it when strange men want to examine me. Not to mention that guy was a total asshole about the whole thing. He actually had the nerve to say “Well, you can come into my office and we’ll show you how not to get pregnant”. Well, asshole did you ever stop to think that I was using birth control? That it isn’t 100% effective? That if I haven’t had any accidents and I’m 31 I think I’m using it correctly. The thing is no one even asked me!!! They just assumed that I wasn’t. WTH????? Lesson learned never go to a small hospital around the corner. EVER. Rat bastards. Ok, sorry about the rant.

So it is still raining! ARG!! I was going to go walking around the block but I guess I’ll be using the treadmill. I have a couple of small projects that I’m going to work on today. I actually got my apartment cleaned yesterday. I don’t know how because I was dragging all day yesterday. I can’t wait till Oct. 18. I am so ready for a change of scenery.

I’m sitting here like a bump on a log. I have so many things that need to be done but I have no motivation to do them. I’m not fasting this week and I feel blah. I hate not fasting when everyone is. But that’s the way it has to be. Not fasting has just thrown me of my course. Of course I’m still not eating that much but I am drinking lots of water and tea. Which will kill me next week when I start fasting again.

I did get my stuff donated today. I had a full trunk and my backseat was full of stuff. It has been raining here for the last two days and that does nothing to help my motivation. The sun is just now starting to come out. We’ll see how long that last.

I just spent 15 minutes cleaning pooh from the little ones paw. Talking about gross. BLECH! He  was as thrilled as I was but at least he didn’t have to lick it clean.

So I’m going to spend the day cleaning my apartment and making a tuna casserole so I will have something to eat for lunch this week. I’m also going to tackle on of my bookcases in the computer room. I need to get rid of some books and I’m throwing out my notes. Woo-hoo!

It has been one month since Caesar’s been gone. I still can’t believe it. I still miss him. I watched the Namesake yesterday. Very good movie. Now I will have to read the book. I try not to read any books before the movie because I will always be disappointed.

It is pouring cats and dogs here right now. I woke up late this morning and had 10 min. to eat and drink for fajr. I didn’t drink enough so today might be rough on me. I keep forgetting to pick up my synthroid and I haven’t taken it in a couple of days. I’m starting to feel it today. I told baby to pick up for me since the pharmacy is right by his job.

I actually got a lot done yesterday. The only thing I didn’t do was go to the masjid and work on my guest list. MIL was tired and didn’t want to go and baby had to work late. I might go tonight. Still a little iffy on that one. I got a lot of stuff out of my computer room and it’s sitting in my trunk waiting to be donated. I still have some other things to go through and hopefully it will be done by Thursday and I will go and drop the stuff off. I also got a big chunk of photos organized. I separated the photos from the cards and memorabilia. Now I just have to separate into years. It’s crazy. I think I have a photo addiction. I have 5 boxes full of photos and stuff I saved. I always save tickets and cards and programs. But I have stuff from 2004 that needs to go into books. It is going to take forever!!!!

I also was able to learn a couple of new suras and I read quite a bit of the Quran yesterday. I really haven’t been doing that much and I really should.

So the plan for today is to clean my apartment and work on the computer room if I have any energy left!

I received my nursing license in the mail!!! Woo-hoo!!! I’m going to try and work on my resume today. There is an open house at one of the hospitals that I want to apply to. I did my preceptorship there. The only problem is I think they are only hiring nights for ICU and I don’t want to do nights. New grad or not I’m not doing nights! A lot of my friends are doing it but I just can’t. I also know that it’s crap when they say that’s how you have to start out. I know lots of people who are new grads who started out on days. So I will just keep looking until I get a day position!!:)

Also, the little is finally starting to warm up to us a little bit more. He has been meowing at me a lot and getting in my lap more. He also slept next to baby last night. I hope he likes it here.

I’m tired of being grumpy.

I’m tired of being exhausted.

I’m tired of not being able to sleep at night.

I’m tired of these bad dreams I’ve been having.

I’m in a bad mood and I don’t know why. BLAH!

On the list for today.

Work on this darn room. I keep saying that but it needs to get done.

Actually get guest list done. Will get done tonight even if I have to tie baby to chair.

Work on some scrapbooking.

Learn a new sura.

Do a load of towels.

Plan out my week so I manage my time better.

Get out of this funky mood.

I was so exhausted yesterday. I took little one to the vet yesterday. Everyone loved him and told me how cute he was. Apparently people love kittens. He didn’t like the pet carrier at all so I had to take him out. He sat in my lap and didn’t meow at all. He broke one of my vases last night. I wasn’t mad because it was old and had been broken before. He got his vaccinations and was dewormed, just to be on the safe side. He goes back in three weeks and he is done for the year, insha’Allah. Then it’s Shakespeare’s turn. He needs some blood work done and I’m afraid he is going to need some teeth pulled.

I didn’t do too much yesterday. I went to the masjid for Jumu’ah and that was about it. I was just really tired yesterday.

Today I need to hit the grocery store and target. I need breakfast food and chips. I’m on this really bad chip thing. I don’t have a lot of them but I’m craving chips at night. The thing is I’m not really a chip person.

I’m going shopping with one of my girlfriends for a Eid outfit. Hopefully we will get lucky and find one. If not I have a new outfit that I picked up in New Jersey that I can wear. Then we are having iftar at her house tonight. It’s a small gathering, nothing big.

So I’m going to stay up after fajr and do a little scrapbooking and work on the computer room. Not much progress has been made, grrr.

Something I’m thankful for today. Friends. I’m glad that I’m able to keep the friends from my past and and I’m grateful for the really wonderful friends that I’ve made here. I’m thankful that I have purged the negative friendships. 

  The little one

 My old man. I can’t believe that he is going to be 13 in a couple of weeks. He has always been really active but he is starting to show his age a little.

<a href=”http://icanhascheezburger.com/2007/09/21/paperwurk-done-cheezburgr-now-plz/”><img src=”http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/128338652121093750paperwurkdone.jpg” alt=”128338652121093750paperwurkdone.jpg” /></a>

Of course that has no real meaning when you aren’t working and are not in school, now does it? But of course even when I worked it never had meaning because every job I’ve ever had weekends were required.

I’m going to try and stay up this morning. I’ve had the habit of reading fajr and just heading back to bed for a couple more hours. But then I never get what I need done. I also have to be at the vet a 9 so I might as well stay up.

I didn’t get anything done on my list yesterday. I was really tired for some reason. After breaking fast I came home and finished watching the 4th disc of Big Love. Very interesting show I must say. I really don’t know many Mormons but less any fundamentalist. I knew a Mormon in junior high school. She was really nice but her mom hated me because I said God once. I didn’t say it in a bad way but she felt that I was taking his name in vain. Never really liked me much after that. No lost feelings there because I thought her parents were whacked anyway.

So I don’t have too much planned today. I’m going to the masjid and vet and try to work some more on this computer room. Spend some time planning my trip and that is it. I never feel like I get much done on a Friday. Don’t know why.

It is one of those days where I should have just stayed in bed. I woke up in a grumpy mood and I just can’t get motivated to do any of the one million things on my to-do list. BLAH!

Me and mil didn’t make it to the masjid last night. She was running late and she was tired. I ate way too much last night too. She made roast beef and it was soooo good. I haven’t had roast beef in so long. Of course it wasn’t as good as my mom’s but it was still very tasty.

I did get everything done on my to-do list. I don’t think that is going to happen today. I’m just so unmotivated. I was going to stay up but went back to bed after fajr and didn’t wake up until 9:30 and have been a complete bum. Spirit is being a little terror today. He has been attacking me all morning. This kitten just keeps going!

My computer room is slowly coming around. I got rid of a big pile of stuff yesterday. I have tons of stuff that needs to be donated. I’ll try to that tomorrow or hopefully Sunday.

So the goals for today are:

1. Learn a new sura

2. Spend some time weeding out my CD collection. It is way disorganized and crazy.

3. Make shopping list

4. Do some paperwork, pay some bills. Always a fun chore, right?

5. Spend some time writing my resume. need some money to pay for bills, hahahaha.

6. Spend at least 15 min. working on computer room.

Hopefully I can get it done. I’m going to be super busy tomorrow and Saturday. Tomorrow I take the little one for his first vet visit. Wish me luck! Saturday me and one of my girlfriends are going shopping for an eid outfit and I need to pick up some new hijabs.

Some good news. I will be planning a baby shower! Baby’s cousin’s wife is expecting, Masha’Allah!!! I’m happy for them. It will be so nice to have a baby around. I have to confess that I was jealous when I first heard. I know it’s terrible but I was. I know I’m not ready for a baby but I still get that little pain. I was never scared of being pregnant before but that was before I had a miscarriage. But whatever will be will be.

So let me get off here and get my bum into gear!

1. Not throw computer out of window for acting weird. Please oh, computer just last until December!

2. Spend at least one hour scrapbooking

3. Spend one hour purging stuff in my computer room.

4. Clean out my purse or the bag that contains everything but the kitchen sink

5. Do my nails

6. Spend some time planning my trip!

7. Go to the masjid tonight. I went last night and I would like to go again because I know Thursday night is out. I think I might walk around after dinner Thursday. I haven’t worked out in about three weeks. YIKES!!!